My darling made me tea. With rum in it. She rules.
Felis Cattus, is your taxonomic nomenclature,
an endothermic quadruped carnivorous by nature?
Your visual, olfactory and auditory senses
contribute to your hunting skills, and natural defenses.
I find myself intrigued by your subvocal oscillations,
a singular development of cat communications
that obviates your basic hedonistic predilection
for a rhythmic stroking of your fur, to demonstrate affection.
A tail is quite essential for your acrobatic talents;
you would not be so agile if you lacked its counterbalance.
And when not being utilized to aide in locomotion,
it often serves to illustrate the state of your emotion.
O Spot, the complex levels of behaviour you display
connote a fairly well-developed cognitive array.
And though you are not sentient, Spot, and do not comprehend,
I nonetheless consider you a true and valued friend.
Fun fact: if you approach an employee and insist that they go ‘check the back’ for an item that’s not on the shelf, there is a 90% chance that they’ll go to the back room, scratch their ass and check their text messages for five minutes, and come back out with a sympathetic smile and a ‘Sorry!’ because they know without even looking that the stock isn’t there.